Tuesday, December 23, 2014

unspoken love and forbidden phrases

Its 10:35 am and just days ago i spoke the most deadly words in th english language...... I told Frankie that i love him.... (What the hell was i thinking?)I made the bigest mistake ever. .. he didn't say it back.. but i didnt expect him to.. Lets face it to think that this "thing" what ever this may be that were in was gonna go my way, i was 3 different types of stupid. Frankie says for me to SLOW down he's not ready to love yet but thats mostly because hes still in love with his ex who happens to be the mother of his youngest daughter. Dammit!! that glorified baby sitter has become the bane of my existence and i haven't even met her!. This is it he said take things slow so i will take it very slow. I'm not gonna try to make him fall for me, i'm just gonna stick to the "friend" role we can play video games and watch tv we can hang out but ... no kissing no touching... and NO SEX!!! no terms of endearment no telling him how much i like him no letting him make me blush..... and thats the way its gonna be. I'll be dammnmed if i let this man steal my heart only to decide he wants to be back with "Her" (said with disgust) I'm through, finished done I'm sick of love its overrated anyway... so i guess this ends the saga of Frankie... it was short but fun while it lasted....

Thursday, December 18, 2014

playing doctor

o its finally the day that frankie and my scheules coincide enough for me to spend time with him again and guess what...... HE'S SICK! Thats right he got a fuckin sinus infection.. but its not his fault and besides i found a way to turn it around... i decided to play NURSE. So I took him some medicine and let me tell you this man is just as sexy even incapacitated in a bed. So I climbed in bed with him and he held me . ( I love being in his arm yay!) and he kissed me and pretty soon my heart start beating fast my body started heating up and i was more then ready to go to the next level. In my mind i thought I'm gonna tease him a little and make him want more so i could come back later that night after work...... unfortunately he had other things in mind.. Oh I started off in control... but at some point he took over . and let me tell you he moves damn well for a sick man.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

friend zoned

Its 10:53 am and I woke up with frankie on my mind... I hate that I'm falling for him I hate that I can't stop thinking about him because I'm pretty sure were not exactly on the same page. Here I am falling for him and he keeps throwing this "friend" word around. Like that all he wants to be. last night he sent me a text saying "I don't give up on anyone i become friends with." and that wasn't the first time he's emphasized this "friend" crap. before i had said most men give up on me before we get real serious and he replies "I never give up on my friends" see what i mean ugh!!! Maybe i'm reading too much into this.. I don't know maybe I'm overreactin. But its just that frankie is so perfect in every way I don't wanna be his friend. I wanna be so much more then that I wanna be his girlfriend his lover his future wife (sigh). And you know what i love that he is a wonderful father to his children and not trying to be mean but i kinda wish he didn't have any... i mean only because I wish i could be the woman to bear his first child... but sadly even if i get past this "friend" thing I may never have that joy....since frankie told me he's been...*fixed* (dun dun duuunnn). I guess thats just something i'll have to learn to live with if he ever decides to stop all this "friend" nonsense"

Monday, December 1, 2014

a new beginning

Its 8:18am and I'm lying in bed thinking....... the thing that's so heavy on my mind is a man.... a man we'll call Frankie. Frankie is a 5foot6 gorgeous embodiment of masculinity. He has a smile that could make any woman melt. He always tells me im gorgeous and beautiful.... So you see the problem? he is perfect... but most times when something seems to good to be true it probably is. So is he a blessing? a gift from god? or an agent of the devil sent to shatter my heart to pieces the moment i allow myself to fall in love again? only time will tell.