Sunday, August 16, 2015

Never take love advice from a single person

Read the title of this post.... Its a lie!!! lies lies lies all lies!!!! There are great reasons to take love advice from people who seem to be eternally single. 1) single people are experts on what not to do. Obviously we have done things your ought not which is exactly why were single, if its one thing i can give you an entire list on it would be what not to do. 2)As a single person for some odd reason all of our happily tied down friends use as an impartial ear to vent to there fore our days are spent listening to other peoples relationship problems. so we become experts on what every one else is doing wrong too. Onne thing i've done as a single person is read a lot of romance novels and a lot of single women do I like to consider myself somewhat of an expert on romance. These are just a few reasons to take love advice from single people but trust me there are a lot more.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Broken hearts and foriegn affairs

So that was it I kicked that unfulfilling loser to the curb but it ended in tears and him taking my car but nevertheless he's gone. So I cried and who else did i call? Benji the european playboy. So he showed up late at night it was like 3am like a dark knight in shinning armor and that night there was something about him, something more alluring then normal. And I tried to resist him i was lieing on the bed talking to him with tears running down my face, i guess he couldnt stand to see me cry. he pulled me into his arms and wiped away my tears, and it was something about that, being pressed against his chest the smell of his cologne invading my senses the feel of him surrounding me...... I completely lost it, next thing I know we were on the bed and my clothes were on the floor. and his lips were on my neck touching feeling kissing I was consumed by his passion. I mean benji has turned me on before but never like this. To feel him like this all over me I just couldnt get enough. (not to mention I had ben imagining having sex with him for the better part of 2 months now...... it was ... all around amazing. I started off on top with his hands locked on my hips and the suprised look on his face stroked my ego while the rest of me stroked his.... well you know. Then all hell broke lose when he flipped me on to my back he grabbed my thighs and lifted them high into the air and pushed so deep he connected with that spot instantly and i lost all train of intelligent thought ant the only thing i could think to say was yes don't stop.

Monday, March 30, 2015

that unfulfilled feeling

Ok so I always thought that the whole point of having a man live with you and sleep next to you every day was so that you wouldn't have to go far for pleasure.... well I mean I know thats not the whole point but come on I'm 21 I'm freaken hormonal. And Heres the problem I'm engaged.... I mean the problem isnt that I'mm engaged its that my fiance is... well he's..... he always wants to make love. I mean like he just wants to be soft and sweet and gentle and thats not what i want. Not what I need. I crave domination, I crave that overpowering feeling that helplessness and he just doesnt give it to me. i want rough sex, I want to be spanked and man handled and choked and he wants to do missionary and kiss me and dont get me wrong I'm not against the slow sweet love makin but can some one please give this man a copy of fifty shades of grey!

Benji The European playboy

Theres one man at my sucky job that stands out above the rest.... That would be Benji The european playboy. Benji is a five foot 9 gorgeous african -italian, sweet talkin, charismatic, flirtatious embodiment of sexuality. And I mean every word of that. Imagine a semi- tall dark rugged sexy guy with a great build and I walked that says "I know i'm sexy. He has a smile that will make your heart skip a beat and a velvety smooth voice that will leave your panties wet. He says naughty things that will catch you off guard and just his presence will keep you horny. i love and absolutely hate the affect he has on me. It drives me crazy... no I've never done anything with benji but that doesnt mean he doesn't affect me. I think he might affect me more then anyone else. Benji and I spend a lot of time around each other we eat lunch together and hang out together on breaks and yes he affects me but I would never admit it. Benji Makes me fucking melt especoially when hes close to me i feel hot and wet and primal... but of course I'd never tell him that. Remember those naughty girl tendencies I was talking about? Benji sends those into over drive.

the naughty girl feeling

I like to think of my self as a good person, I always have and then.... theres that naughty girl feeling. Its somthing that I can't shake something that I've always have had a problem with. I'm a good girl i just have........ thoughts .... naughty thoughts sometimes I mean. Im fucking 21 and surrounded by men most of the day what else do you really expect not to mention I'm the youngest woman in the plant where I work so the air is thick with dirty sexual inuendo from the older men who crave a young just above legal girl like me. Sometimes I can't help the thoughts that run thru my mind, I mean I never act on it but with all the testosterone in the room oh the thoughts I can't help it some times... does that make me a terrible person?

Saturday, February 14, 2015

And if i ever

Well this is it... i guees the end of my love story its been nearly 3 months since my mother moved away and I chose to stay and struggle on my own simply for the sake of being with frankie. Day after day i wanted to cry over and over again. I lost nearly everything i have very little clothes and no ral home and no real job but i stayed despite all of that because i didnt wanna leave him behind. But Frankie just called me. he says he doesn't ant to be with me any more..... it hurts ... or atleast it did at firsdt i mean i loved this man so much that i have his initials tattooed on my stomach but all of that means nothing now he said there is nothing i can do about it his mind is made up he didnt call me to talk it over he called me to give me a verdict from a trial i didn't even know was taking place. apparently ive been tried and convicted without even being allowed to take the stand. Frankie says im too far away because i live an hour away from him now but being an hour away is the only way i could keep from going 6 hours away to florida with my mother he was my only reason for staying now i have no reason at all. So You know what i give up. Love is hard and it hurts and i can't take it anymore if I'm not gonna love frankie then i'm not gonna love anyone i give up on love im done with relationships i'm not getting married im not dating im just done i can't do it anymore ive had my heart broken too many times. I love Frankie and i always will but this is it for me and love and this is it for the love stories page because when i look back and think about love this is the only love i wanna remember Frankie caressing and kissing me the laughs we had and how he made me feel i want his to be the last love i ever feel.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

cloud 9x3

So today started off as a really suck ass kind of day. Frankie brought me to tears because he said he wasn't coming to see me, I was so sad i had given up hope about him coming. But just when i did he shows up and sweeps me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope on to his valiant steed (ok so maybe he didn't really have a valiant steed). Oh it was wonderful walking around the mall hand in hand with this man brought an endless smile to my face. we laughed and kissed and hugged and touched, and i floated around the mall taking in the envious onlookers knowing that they only wish they knew love like this. I was so blissfully happy high off of the strongest drug possible ( SIgh) Love! I was so far past CLOUD 9 it was more like cloud 27 for me. :

Friday, January 30, 2015

kids? I am a kid

I'm really sad today...... since the last time i blogged frankie and i have fallen even deeper in love..... i even went so far as to tell him that i wanted him to marry me and surprisingly he didnt runaway at the thought of it.our love has doubled tripled even in the time we've been together... although he hasnt spent the night with me again since the first time..... i guess thats the fatale flaw, it seems as if . frankie doesnt always have time for me..... it kinda makes me sad. i mean dont get me wrong i know his children come first and i'd never ask him to put me before him but how do i ask for more of his time without seeming needy or clingy?? its quite the conundrum

Thursday, January 22, 2015

unbreak my heart say you love me again

Ok so i know a week ago when i posted i said that frankie broke my heart, that i was devastated, just totall freaken outdone by him leaving me in tears in the middle of the night oin what was supposed to be the best night of my life.....but guess what... here it is a week later and he fixed it.! thats right Frankie came over and spent the night with me last night only it wasn't like last time, it was wonderful and he didnt get mad he didn't leave we made love till both our bodys were sore and i fell asleep in his arms on his warm sexy body. All the kissing all the touching all the caressing and the amazing sex round after round after round, i lost count of how many times i reached climax, but i kept count of his :) over all it was one hell of a night and spending the night with him sleeping in his arms staring into his eyes i fell even deeper in love with him.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

in the throws of passion and the pit of love

Ok I lied I lied lied lied lied!!!! Its midnight and i'm laying here i can't get frankie out of my mind i went to see him earlier today and it was the most wonderful day ever.... so i tried to stick to what i said when i got there i tired not to pay attention to him... but he sensed that and just was not having it.. he did everything he could do to make me smile and it worked i was determined not to kiss him but those sexy lips of his were calling me those big strong hands of his were caressing me and that deep sexy voice of his was beckoning seducing me with every word.... I almost kept my head until...... I ended up in the shower with him (don't ask how) But then all hell broke lose and in the moment i couldn't pretend anymore i couldn't hold back to see that water cascading down that amazing body of his drove me insane.. i found myself in his arms kissing him passionately with my arms wrrapped around him ... i couldn't stop i couldn't get enough... yea we defiled the shower but am i shamed.....?? Nope after that shower my body was weak i couldn't feel my toes lol but gguess what.. Frankie wasn't done we stood in front of the sink where he put his hand in the middle of m back and made me bend over...... and well.... you can only imagine.....Then he picked me up and put me on the counter......it is safe to say my mind was offically blown..... and the sex wasn't even the best part..... Frankie... uttered words i thought he would never say... Frankie said he loved me.... I laid there on the bed trying to contain my scream of excitement but its safe to say this was the most wonderful day ive had since meeting him... he says i was totally glowing when he dropped me off and i can't help it i've said it before and i'll say it again i've fallen hard for this man i'm unchangeably irrevocably in love.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart

Well last night... was a disaster. i was wrong the worse case scenario wasn't the world exploding the worst case was him leaving and not spending the night with me and thats exactly what happened. I'm not really sure why though. one minute we were joking and playing and the next minute he was angry and packing his things and leaving. i begged him not to go, but he wasn't hearing it... My tears have no affect on him so he doesn't even look twice when i begin to cry. I try asking him what i did wrong how i upset him, but he wouldn't tell me. i cried and begged but... he still left. we were in the drive way where i pleaded for him not to go and he said he was leaving anyway, so i ran into the house in tears. A few minutes later i heard the screen door open and i thought maybe he was really coming back to comfort me. but it was just my mother she saw me in tears and i was crying so hard i couldn't even tell her why......Last night was supposed to be the best night of my life, he says he still loves me but why do i feel 3 different kinds of heart break..... last night i cried myself to sleep with my arms wrapped tightly around my pillow and tears running down myface until unconsicousness took over and i passed out, I felt so alone and abandoned.Its like alicia keys said in her song "Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? well you should try sleeping in my bed."

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

hyperventilation

Sooooo its THURSDAY!!! the epic night where frankie is supposed to spend the night with me yay !!! but i'm real nervous i keep rearranging my room its like the first time hes gonna see my house and im in total freak out mode. like what if he doesn't like the house... what if he doesn't like my family.. what if he decides never to come back again...so i tell my mom i'm like totally freaking and shes like now now >>insert my real name here<< your getting worked up over nothing. Those are all worse case scenarios and your over reacting. and im like over reacting?? worse case scenarios??? hold up hold up hold up hold up. I'm like mom worse case scenario would be like he sees me naked he laughs at me and then the world explodes into a milliontiny pieces making it so that were anilahated before i have a chance at redemptiong. That would be a worse case scenario. So i don't feel like im over reacting at all... In fact i may be under reacting, maybe i should kick it up a notch, and go strait psycho. So i'm like hyperventilating (breathes into paper bag) my asthma is acting up. my heart is beating at like 1000 bpm and i just feel like im gonna burst, So i have to make sure everything is absolutely 100 % perfect.... Frankie if you happen to read this PLEASE take note of the hell i go thru just because i love you (you can't tell me thats not real) lol.

Friday, January 9, 2015

afternoon delights in the devils den

So this is unusual its 2:19 in the afternoon... about half an hour ago i left frankie's house.... It was an innocent visit i swear.. idk what happened. I just wanted to see him and i was so happy and then things got real. His voice dropped to that girl i not playing with u tone and he told me to take my shorts off..... I tried to resist but come on this is frankie were talking about thats damn near impossible......first he tortured me feeling his tongue between my legs sent me into a frenzy. My legs shook and i clutched the sheets... he held my body so i couldn't run.....he didn't stop until i......... well. Next he grabbed my legs and pulled me closer saying he wanted it. i told him no you have to wait till you spend the night with me thursday.. *sigh* frankie wasn't hearin that i'm not sure if "no" is even actually in this mans vocabulary cause as many times as ive said it before he always seems to get what he wants. But i mean i love it... i didn't want it to end. he hit my spot with every stroke and made me hit high notes i didn't think i could ..... it was amazing (mind=blown)

Friday, January 2, 2015

no turning back now

Soooo last night.....I don't know where TO BEGIN.... it was different.... amazingly passionate .... and suprisingly it didn't involve sex.....I made frankie mad... very mad... And you know what i may risk sounding like a freak or a masochist here but when he is mad that man is even sexier..... I wanted him so bad. but i was so upset with myself about making him mad I started to cry.... I havent cried in so long that once the tears started they just wouldn't stop I was so sad and I felt myself losing my happiness... And just when i thought all was lost....Frankie wasn't mad anymore but of course i was still sad he did everything he could to make me stop crying... he wouldn't let me leave the house until i was happy again he said.....at first i didn't wanna let him change my mood, i wanted to just sit there and sulk in my sadness.... But when i was standing up face to face with him..... my body just inches from his staring into his hypnotic hazel eyes, i couldn't help it.....One kiss was all it took for all hell to break lose and my hormom=nes to come bursting through the dam i so diligently built. The tears disappeared and the sobs went away replaced by breathless kisses and sighs of passion.. I felt my body heat up, I felt his nature rise, I felt .... His body pressed against me, his arms wrapped around me his lips on mine..... A moment so filled with passion.... I can't stay sad around frankie its impossible... I dont know what to do. just his touch... just his presence turns my whole day around.... he said it over and over last night.. those forbidden 3 words that is... that he loves me... I love him too and I know why........